Guitar Solo Slugs! The Mind of the Lead Guitarist

An oft wondered phenomenon in the music universe is “What the heck is up with lead guitarists’ faces during solos?!?”

We know all of the magical rituals surrounding solos. For instance, you must hold your breath during a guitar solo, out of respect for the guitarist but also so you aren’t cursed for eternity. You can’t change the radio station during a solo. You know, basic stuff, duh.

The lead guitarist reaches into realms unseen to summon forth the power of the muse during the improvised dark arts of the solo. What was seen was hitherto unknown to mere mortals, assumed only to be evil likened unto Cthulu or Nyarlathotep themselves.

The truth is much more dark… more sinister than could have ever been imagined… an absurdity to end all sanity!

Trigger Warning: What is seen cannot be unseen. Proceed with caution.

For the first time ever, Ledger Note’s mad scientists have created a special camera to break the dimensional veil and reveal the truth of the soloists facial expressions…

The Guitar Solo Slugs!

steve vai guitar solo slug — Steve Vai recoils from his heavy burden

dimebag darrell guitar solo slug — Dimebag Darrell of Pantera courageously strums his overlord

katy perry guitar solo slug — Legendary guitarist Katy Perry takes ANOTHER one for the team (Illuminati)

ronnie wood rolling stones guitar solo slug — Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones grimaces before the beast

slash guns n roses guitar solo slug — Slash of Guns N Roses still plays with his food

dave grohl foo fighters nirvana guitar solo slug — Dave Grohl painfully suckles his spirit familiar

john mayer guitar solo slug — “The things I put up with…” – John Mayer

ace frehley kiss guitar solo slug — A surprised Ace Frehley of Kiss pierces the veil for the first time

jimi hendrix guitar solo slug — Jimi Hendrix is too high to notice

muse matt belamy guitar solo slug — Matt Belamy of Muse shreds his custom built gastropod mollusk

ac dc angus young guitar solo slug — Angus Young of AC/DC peppers his young angus

james hetfield metallica guitar solo slug — James Hetfield of Metallica in terror of his lord and savior

eddie van halen guitar solo slug — Eddie Van Halen receiving his psychically transmitted “improv”

bruce springsteen guitar solo slug — Bruce Springsteen just washed this shirt, dammit!

bb king guitar solo slug — B.B. King training his new baby sluggy wuggy

carlos santana guitar solo slug — Even Metatron can’t save Carlos Santana from his destiny

prince guitar solo slug — Prince pissed that the slug used all his lip gloss

For all that is good and holy, I pray our heroes find release from this demonic source of inspiration and suffering. With great power comes great responsibility. We all have our cross to bear… you wouldn’t believe the crap that drummers have to deal with (transdimensional octopi).

This is what happens after you go down to the crossroads and get down on your knees. It’s not quite as bad as when the devil went down to Georgia and infested this man’s washing machine, but the two combined mean you can’t wash all that slug gunk out of your clothes.

“I need an old priest and a young priest! The power of Christ compels you!” There’s not enough salt in the world to shrivel this burden away from our talented axe-slayers. Maybe guitar solo slugs do make the best electric guitars after all.

Share this with your guitar brethren and let them know, they aren’t alone. We now know the secrets of the musical cosmos… and we regret everything. If but we had the strength to deny the power of the improvised solo and the guitar solo slugs!