Baby Sings Metal Alphabet Song (Then Asks For Mommy)

I can't imagine anything more hardcore than singing a heavy metal version of the alphabet song, butchering the ordering of the letters, and then asking for mommy...

And yet that's exactly what this cute little girl does, all while rocking some kind of pink teddy bear pajamas! She's got that "I'm ready for a bar fight" look on her face.  I'm honestly a bit intimidated, although I'll never show it.

When I was that age, I wasn't learning my alphabet or even how to carry a melody.  I was still trying to find places to hide my boogers.  Some say, if you listen closely on a cold winter night, you can flip my old computer chair over and still find them to this day.  Just be careful not to cut your hand.


I just head banged so hard I broke all three of my clavicles and dislocated my skull.  I have full faith that this young super star will grow up to be a replacement for one of the girls in BABYMETAL.  She'll have to drop the scowl and go for the deadpan look, but I believe.

If you're interested in seeing what young girls from a different culture might do if they're forced into the pop industry but have a love for heavy metal, than look no further than BABYMETAL (we covered them already, so give her a read so I don't get fired).  Their idea of scary and tough includes frail ghosts and ogres with oni masks, which is pretty cool.  You'll see influences from the American style of metal too, of course, which is the entire gimmick.  Rob Zombie once said nice things about them during a tour they did together, and some of his fans tried to talk smack and he shut that down real quick, noting how hard they were working while old grumpy dudes were at home being lazy and complaining on the internet.  That's not me by a long shot...

Now, I'm not usually the kind of person that feels like he needs to one-up everyone, but this girl was getting a little too cocky.  I can't stand by and let such an injustice occur when there's people (like me) far more skilled than her.  I had to bust out my blocks and show her how it's done:

abc blocks

Nailed it, bro.  All three letters of the alphabet, in order, and I even stacked them.  None of this "Elmo Elmo Pee" business.  I'm too old for all that Sesame Street nonsense.  Back in my day, we didn't get Tickle Me Elmo's for Christmas.  We got lumps of coal and a nice stick to hit them around the backyard while we played Red Rover.  Kids these days don't know how good they have it, with their iPads and enough food to eat.

Next time one of you munchkins wants to be a hot shot and upload a "humble brag" to YouTube, expect another response.  I'll stack my blocks up while I count to 10 forwards and backwards.  Come at me, bruh.  You think this is a mo-mo-mo-fo game?  It's war out here in these streets.  I haven't survived this long by accident.  What you wanna do?  Your move, toddlers.