Ravenous Tea Cup Warthog Rips a Synth Solo

I done seent some things in my life.  I've seen a walrus play saxophone.  I've seen a bird beatboxing some dubstep.  I've seen a bear play the trumpet.  I even saw a dog rock out on the drums.  But one thing I ain't ever seent is no warthog play the keys.

They're calling this beast creature a "tea cup piglet," whatever that means or insinuates.  All I know is this monstrosity savagely destroys this synthesizer with its cloven hooves while performing a victory dance over it's diminished foe:

As is foretold in the Book of Swine, after the Two-Tusk gores the keyboard and tramples its skeleton with the Victory Dance of Triumph, it demands the Hand of the Most High reach down, immanetized from the Heaven's with the Mystic Treat of Mana, which it gladly devours before returning to it's horrid festivities (as immortalized eternally in the wretched video above).

The real conspiracy here is how anyone has the time to keep their lawn that freshly shorn and their sidewalk pressure-washed.  Take care to nice the dried palm tree fronds in the background, yet none laying on the grass below.  We must free these people from the tyranny of this malevolent beast.  He is a fierce, unfair god-king and demander of treats.

The last time I saw one of these warthog things, it was trying to kill Simba in the name of Uncle Scar.  It threw him down some canyon and watched him get trampled by a herd of potbellies, and then it broke out into song with a prairie dog.  The lie is different on every level, my friends.  Be vigilant.  Next time you're at the watering hole and you see one of these, make sure not to stand downwind.

lion king warthog

"When I was a young warthog..."

"...I was being trained in the art of subterfuge and covert operations to help overthrow the royal bloodline of the Lion Kingdom."  The Lion King, despite it being a complete knock off of the Japanese movie Kimba the White Lion, was the first Game of Thrones / House of Cards.  But seriously, you should look up the comparisons of how hard Disney ripped this movie off.  They went as far as to copy the directing angles and more.  Whoever owns the original rights to Kimba could sue the pants off them and likely win a large sum.  Trust no one.

kimba the white lion

Look at that picture above.  Give it a long, hard look.  Like I said, the lies run deep. Never trust anything associated with warthogs unless you don't value the truth.  I mean, if so, go ahead, but don't come crying to me when you end up in some elephant graveyard with a bunch of hyenas.

Alright, obviously I'm sour because this Pumba thing has learned to play the piano it its own way.  It's more motivated than I'll ever be.  I'm not disciplined enough to even sit down in front of mine, although to be fair I don't have anyone dangling a bean burrito in front of my face either.