This Dog Plays Drums Better Than You Do

I've told this story in detail before, so I'll just mention the basics.  I once was forced to learn to play the drums by not playing them because they were too loud.  It scarred me for life.  Now I'm having flashbacks...

For all my trying, I never learned it.  And yet this frickin' Pug dog knows the entire song I was expected to learn and can nail it with minimal effort.  The first song I ever tried to play (and still can't) was Enter Sandman by Metallica, and this dog rips through it with technical prowess and looks good while doing it:

How in the world does a dog play drums?  Seriously.  Someone must have trained him with treats made from the drug on Limitless.  And Enter Sandman too, to add insult to injury.  I've only recently gotten my dog to switch paws when I make him shake while saying "other hand."  My dog's an idiot, though, for real.  I learned how to do that in like three days, flat.  It took him at least five.

But back to the matter at hand.  I was skeptical about this clip at first, on account of all the hoaxes out there on YouTube.  "You seriously expect me to believe that a dog of all things can actually play the frickin' drums?  Give me a break."  But then I watched the video.  You'd think there's some guy back there dressed in all black moving the dog's arms around but where are the human hands?  Usually you can detect that a person is moving the dog or cat or whatever beast around in the background.  That's not happening here.  You can even see him bashing the foot pedal.

I'm done.  Done with drums.  Done with life.

What's this dog going to play next?  "Master of Puppies?"  How about it gets a real job and starts pulling its weight around here?  No, you don't need to move to Nashville.  You need to focus on your career.  You here me, dog?  Fine, that's it.  Go to your cage.

Update: I came back to this post and it led me to do an internet search for other dog drummers.  Apparently it's not just this one dog... they are beginning to rise up.  Look at this:

dog drummer

Normally I would call B.S. on something like this since people like to mess around with Photoshop. I'm the man at spotting shops. Usually you can see the pixels, but this time it's clear as day... This is real.

Here's more proof:

dog drumming clip art

I've got some serious questions about all this.  How does any animal that's not a primate or whatever manage to hold drum sticks without any opposable thumbs?  If the critter throws its sticks out into the crowd after the show, is it tempted to go chase them and bring them back?

I'm just going to watch these guys play Enter Sandman in Bluegrass, in tears... with ice cream.  At least they're human so I'm feeling inferior to people instead of some flea-ridden mutt.