Walrus Seduces Everyone With Sax Solo

First off, I thought fish had to be in water to breathe?  And where are this things gills?  Second, how is a fish going to rip such a killer saxophone solo and then have someone bring it a rose?  I can't even get a date, let alone someone asking me out with flowers.

Seduction Level: Expert.

It's all in being confident, like when he applauds himself for putting Kenny G in his place and then busts the tango.  They say you shouldn't laugh at your own jokes or brag about yourself, but take it from this creature... it works.

I thought Candy Dulfer was the "Saxiest" sax player, but I'm starting to change my mind.  I don't care how many Christmas albums she or Kenny G puts out.  That don't impress me much.  They've got the moves but have they got the touch?

candy dulfer saxophone player

Can Candy dance the tango and slide around on the ground in a wet suit?  Can she even breathe under water?

Editor's Note:  A loyal visitor has informed us that this is, in fact, not a fish.  It's some kind of deformed dog called a "Walrus."  We stand corrected.  We're not above admitting when we're wrong, but we're not going to start applauding ourselves like some narcissistic freak of nature Latin fish dog thing.

dog walrus

I must say, it looks like it'd go great beer-battered with some fries, cole slaw, and hush puppies.  Let me get some tartar sauce and ketchup, too.  I knew there was such a thing as a catfish but I wasn't aware of dogfish until today.  Are they legal to have as pets inside city limits?  I'd let it run around the backyard with my dolphin.  If it digs out under the fence and runs off it's on its own.  I refuse to chase after pets that run off like that.  I expect my walruses to show a base level of loyalty, and to get a job and start pulling their weight around here.

Let me point out to you gullible people out there, that there's a high chance that this "Walrus" wasn't playing the saxophone at all.  The reason I say that is, first of all, you need fingers to press all the various keys on the sax, and I don't see no fingers on them flippers, just some little tentacles flopping around.  I doubt there's even a skeleton in that thing.  I just scared myself!  That was too spooky.

And second of all, I know for a fact from personal experience that you need to have lips to use any reed instrument.  All this beast has is meat flaps hanging over it's ferocious tusks.  It is for these reasons specifically that I suspect all may not be as it seems under the surface of this video.  You have to apply critical thinking to spot these kind of internet hoaxes.  I have your back.  I can spot a hoax so well that I know Snopes is actually a propaganda site nowadays, and that's not even counting the disgusting stuff the owners did with the misappropriated money...