Meet The Awkward Guitar Thief Who Just Casually Stole $5000

Still on the prowl, this Not-So-Smooth Criminal waltzed right into the Long Island City Guitar Center and shuffled his way right back out while trying to hide a $4,650 Gibson guitar under his shirt:

This surveillance footage is from October 18th, 2015 at 3:50 PM, and although the police have been investigating the footage, they're still yet to apprehend this thief.

gibson guitar center thief

According to the NYPD statement:

"An unknown male suspect removed a custom Gibson guitar valued at $4,650 from a display stand, secreted the guitar under his shirt and exited the store without paying."

This footage was released in order to ask the public for their help.  The suspect is described as 5 foot 10 inches, about 165 pounds (soaking wet), and around the age of 30.  He was wearing a gray colored long sleeve shirt over a black t-shirt including a white chest design.  His outfit also included blue jeans, black tennis shoes, and eye glasses.

NYPD Crime Stoppers

Who ya gonna call?

* Cue the Ghostbuster's Theme *

Call the NYPD Crime Stopper's Hotline

If you recognize this individual, please anonymously report his identity to the NYPD's Crime Stoppers Hotline by calling the following number:

800-577-TIPS

You can also submit your tips on the Crime Stoppers website at www.NYPDCrimeStoppers.com or by texting 274637 (which spells CRIMES) then enter TIP577.  Of course, your personal identity will be kept strictly confidential.  That or you'll be placed into witness protection until you're ultimately given a new identity, a couple hundred bucks, and sent to live in Alaska.

Hold Up A Minute Here

Now, let's get real for a second.  Number one, what kind of operation are you running where some guy can walk out of your store with one of the most expensive items stuffed in his shirt, when the item is bigger than his entire torso?  And number two, why should the public help the police go on the man-hunt?  That's what we pay them for with our tax dollars!  And number three, let's not all sit here and act like Guitar Center doesn't have theft insurance and that theft isn't already calculated into the prices we as the consumers pay.  We already cover the cost of these bad guys doing this!

And number four, I guess I'm being salty over that arbitration agreement Guitar Center forced their employees to sign.  Maybe that's why this guy was able to just walk out like that, because none of the workers care any more.  I know a guy who works for Guitar Center, and if he hadn't earned his way up to management while they were still giving out commissions, he'd have probably quit working with them altogether.

I hate to say any of that, because it sounds like I'm saying theft is okay as long as you do it to someone who's screwing over someone else.  But I'm not saying that in the slightest.  Everyone needs to stop doing wrong to other people and start doing extra "rights."  Two rights can cancel out a wrong!  Can't we all just get along?  Heal the world, make it a better place!