This just in: Local 16 year old Jean-Paul Georgio Ringold has never heard of the The Beatles. We managed to get a word with Jean-Paul earlier today on his way to school, where he was walking along listening to The Grey Album, which is a mash-up record of rapper Jay-Z's The Black Album and The White Album by "some old band I haven't heard of before."
Ledger Note journalist Billy Preston began the conversation, "Jean-Paul, can you tell us exactly the origin of your name?"
"I have a complex ethnic heritage, spanning generations of toil and suffering. My mother is of French-Italian descent and my father, like his father before him, is an Anglo-Saxon. I am only a 4th generation American, myself. That makes me fairly unique. My suffering is legendary even in hell."
Preston ignored that last comment and continued, "Surely your parents, especially with an Englishman for a father, had a Beatles record or two laying around the house when you were growing up? I bet your dad liked John the most and your mom preferred Paul (I'm a George and Ringo kind of guy myself). I'm sure your parents were as caught up in Beatlemania at the time as the rest of us?"
"Ah, yes. The Boll Weevil, quite the pest. I do recall dinner table conversation regarding the impact of this insect upon the agricultural industries at the time my grandparents were but youths. Here, let me show you. It's nothing like the torment young people must tolerate today."
"That's very interesting, Jean-Paul," stated Preston as he scored 2 points total on Flappy Bird. "What does an intelligent young man like yourself prefer to listen to today, if not The Beatles?"
"We typically focus on the leaders of the avant-garde postmodern movement. Among these are 'My Chemical Romance' and 'Jimmy Eat World'. I'm somewhat of a purist with a dedication to the uncontaminated. These bands allow the intellectually elite to truly accept the depths of our unending pain. I also partake of the remix culture who's pursuit of mashing the new with the old elevates my cultural consciousness. You wouldn't understand."
"Probably not. How do you feel about other Britpop bands such as Oasis and Elbow as an alternative to The Beatles?"
"They are too mainstream for me, personally. Oasis reminds me of the Sgt. Peppers-era Beatles, but I prefer the Magical Mystery Tour Beatles myself. When I want to get into that mood, I lay back on my bed and rub my skin with an eraser while I listen to Klaatu. Klaatu was a much better band than The Beatles. Almost as good as Radiohead, have you heard of them? They have an anger and angst about them akin to The White Album era."
"Can you clarify how you can make such comparisons with The Beatles... without having actually listened to or heard of The Beatles?," asked Preston. Jean-Paul Georgio Ringold winked at Ledger Note's Billy Preston and non-chalantly walked away while calmly responding,
"Who are The Beatles?"
Neither John, Paul, George, or Ringo were available for comments.