"Look, my shits always been fire, always been as hot as the sun," local rapper Daquan Hassan stated confidently. "But now... this shit is in a whole 'nother galaxy, just like the sun."
Daquan's mixtape "Our Soul Are Solar" is an epic ode to two sources of life. "One day while piffin' a jay I had a resolution, revolution, and revelation all at the same time, ya feel me fam. Let me spit this chorus so you can dig what I'm saying."
One hand we got souls /
the other we got sun /
I could pull ya bitch /
but cuzzo we all one /
We went on record with Daquan Hassan concerning his guarantee that this mixtape will be the best selling album of all time and ever. "I'm not even talking about Thriller level... there will come a time when "Solar" is the only album left."
When asked what he meant by this, Daquan said, "Look, keep this on the low. My homie's cousin's sister's hooking up with this one dude, right? He goes to college and all this shit. He put me on to some next level shit. You ever heard of 5D Memory Crystals?"
Upon researching this concept, Ledger Note followed a few leads that all pointed to the same place. The University of Southampton has created a breakthrough in the development of permanent data storage by constructing nanostructured glass with data written by an optoelectronic femtosecond laser into a 5D crystalline matrix.
It's all quite elementary, making us wonder why we didn't do it first. These new CD's can store 360 terabytes of songs, which is why Daquan's mixtape has an unprecedented 5400 songs (freestyles) averaging 3 minutes and 24 seconds each using the uncompressed wave format.
The discs can survive temperatures up to 1,000°C and at room temperature will last forever with no degradation to the data stored in it.
Daquan continued, "You see, bruh. I read in the Bible Code that we finta blow ourselves up. Nobody else gone have an album like this. When the aliens come to archaeologize the planet, they'll find the only shit available... 'Solar.' Then I got infinite years for them to be slangin' it. I'ma be all up in dat ass at the top of Soundscan."
When asked how it is that Our Soul Are Solar will rank on charts that no longer exist, Daquan started talking about the genetic memory of the holographic universe weaved into the threads of spatio-temporality and perfect virtual simulations.
He then stated, "What you think I did with that last 30 MB on the disc?"
And with a mysterious wink, Daquan Hassan handed us a copy of his mixtape and bounced the fuck up out this piece.
Daquan Hassan decided to unleash the hit single "40 Malt" on the world on his official Soundcloud today!
The beat is fire... like the fire of 10,000 suns... These guys might want to consider writing instead of freestyling though, although it does bring the comedic factor. Rhyming "penis" and "Jesus" off the top of the dome concerns me though...