The Wait is Over: The HUMMbucker Electric Kazoo!

For generations we've dreamed of such a time, a time when childhood toys could be respected as legitimate musical instruments, and that time has now arrived.  The ancients were stuck annoying people with ocarinas, and our more modern ancestors had to settle for bagpipes, accordions, and harmonicas.  But a new world rises, one of technologically supplemented antagonization of the innocent...

Behold, as I present to you...

The HUMMbucker Electric Kazoo!

electric kazoo

Yes, my friends.  Kazoobie Kazoo has released the long-awaited HUMMbucker.  Don't worry, they didn't do anything crazy like crafting the kazoo out of stainless steel or classy bamboo.  They stayed true to the game.  These are the exact same kind of kazoos you'd get for a couple of quarters back in the day at the gas station.  Check out some of these stats:

  • Standardized Plastic Kazoo at 4.75 inches long
  • Professional-Grade Pickup including a 15 foot mono cable with 1/4 inch jack
  • Available in all of the classic assorted pre-school colors!

This bad boy is surprisingly cheap and the perfect stocking stuffer or surprise gift for your musician buddies or family member.  That's incredible that they went ahead with 15 foot cables instead of giving us a 6 foot one like you'd expect.  With 15 feet, you can rock the entire stage instead of sitting on your stool right next to the amp (because, hey, even the players don't want to hear the kazoo that loud).

Check out homeboy here rocking out.  He's really high on... life.  His shirt is awesome, too.  I'd buy that game on launch day, no questions asked.  That's another solid business idea someone can roll with, but I want my 5% commissions for the idea.

Here's the Roland Micro Cube amp he's talking about, even though he got the name wrong, which is hilarious.  All jokes aside, it's a killer travel amp for practicing and even sounds good enough when mic'd at gigs (we feature it in our top picks for guitar amplifiers).  It's gots lots of effects.  My brother has one.  Me likey.  Unless it's 3AM in the morning and we're college roommates and I plan on actually going to class in the morning, which was usually the case.

While you're at it, you might as well pick up the instruction manual, because, you know... all those moving parts and whatnot can get confusing.  But seriously, you'd think it'd be like "blow into it and hum different melodies," but like the harmonica and any other woodwind or reed instrument, there's a lot of mouth techniques you can apply to change the sound or perform tricks:

how to kazoo

Be the envy of all of your friends and make them, like, totally jelly by being the first of you to rock an electric kazoo with advanced methods like "froggy practice," "balalaika effect," and special lip positions.

I don't know if any of that is real, and neither will your friends, so just go with it.  Scoff at them if they ask as if everyone knows about the balalaika effect.  "Bro, do you even kazoo?"  I try to really humiliate my friends and make them feel stupid.